The Good Green Men





Let me be petty for a moment. I recently saw a public service commercial which set me off.

These are made by people purporting to be wise to tell the rest of us how to live. Generally they are made by people less happy and successful than the rest of us. The one I saw pirates the ancient Green Man character into a mute and be-bearded hippy. It told me to set my water heater to 120 Fahrenheit to save energy. My first thought was that more energy could be saved by insulating the pipes and water heater. That would save freezing pipes too. Much energy would be saved in not replacing split pipes in cold winters. Of course, we don’t really deserve hot baths and comfortable houses or enough hot water for everyone.. Mainly the sort of advertisements I see here try to make one feel virtuous for metaphorical cold showers and hair shirts.

When I was young water heaters were set to 160 or 170. By the time I was eighteen the enviro-sapiens told us to set them to 140 Fahrenheit. As a diligent student, I believed what I was told. Now that I am told 120 Fahrenheit.

I wish to think out loud. There was good reason to set water heaters to 160, it tended to sterilize. When — not if — debris entered the water heater it was killed by the heat. Also the hot water lines were kept sterilized. And the drains for some distance.

At 120 any algae or other debris is incubated. We encourage bacterial growth. Hot water pipes have interesting slimes growing in them. One should not drink water from a hot water line. If one goes to England one finds separate hot and cold taps. This is a cultural memory of the early water heaters when one risked contaminating the potable water supply from the hot water. At 120 we might consider the same.

Is this really saving energy? Or is it risking public health? Do the people running the PSA’s care or do they not think?

This is like the CAFE standards for cars. The idea is to save energy. But every advance in CAFE cost human deaths. When we make cars lighter we remove protections. This is not too terrible because of clever engineering. But this is not to the credit of those setting the unreasonable goals. A car company once made the Pinto. The short version had the gas tank too near the rear bumper. The car was prone to deadly gasoline fires when rear ended. But it made the CAFE standard!

Ford was sued. They knew about the problem beforehand and calculated that it was less expensive to settle law suits than to fix the problem. It was thought monstrous that there was a price set on human life and suffering. Is this not what the bureaucrats who establish the CAFE standards do? What number of barrels of oil are worth a human life?

I come not to criticize Cassius and Brutus. They are good green men.


A Balanced Perspective


The Loving Curse of History

Bless the bright Cromagnon for inventing the bow

      and damn him for inventing missile warfare.

Bless the stubby little Sumerians for miracles in gold and lapis lazuli

      and damn them for burying a dead queen’s hand-maidens living in her tomb.

Bless Shih Hwang-Ti for building the Great Wall between northern barbarism and southern culture,

      and damn him for burning every book in China.

Bless King Minos for the ease of Cnossian flush toilets

      and damn him for his yearly tribute of Greek sacrificial victims.

Bless Pharaoh for peace

      and damn him for slavery.

Bless the Greeks for restricting population so the well-fed few could kindle a watch-tower in the west,

      and damn the prostitution and sodomy and wars of colonization by which they did it.

Bless the Romans for their strength to smash down every wall that hemmed their building genius,

      and damn them for their weakness that never broke the bloody grip of Etruscan savagery on their minds.

Bless the Jews who discovered the fatherhood of God

      and damn them who limited it to the survivors of a surgical operation.

Bless the Christians who abolished the surgical preliminaries

      and damn them who substituted a thousand cerebral quibbles.

Bless Justinian for the Code of Law

      and damn him for his countless treacheries that were the prototype of the wretched Byzantine millenium.

Bless the churchmen for teaching and preaching,

      and damn, them for drawing a line beyond which they could only teach and preach in peril of the stake.

“Bless the navigators who, opened the new world to famine-ridden Europe,

      and damn them for syphillis.

Bless the red-skins who bred maize, the great preserver of life

      and damn them for breeding maize the great destroyer of topsoil.

Bless the Virginia planters for the solace of tobacco

      and damn them for the red gullies they left where forests had stood.

Bless the obstetricians with forceps who eased the agony of labor

      and damn them for bringing countless monsters into the world to reproduce their kind.

Bless the Point Four boys who slew the malaria mosquitoes of Ceylon

      and damn them for letting more Sinhalese be born then five Ceylons could feed.

“Who knows what he is doing,

      why he does it or what the consequences will be?

                                                                                       – Cyril M. Kornbluth



Cast your mind back with me. You start college. You hope to do sixteen credits. Four of them are for your major. Four for major prerequisites. Maybe calculus. A lab course. A seminar to familiarize you to your field. A PE course to keep you from turning into a lump. If you are smart, you take something broadening such as a history class or introduction to psychology. That’s it. And you have too many credits. You may have to drop something. Not your major. You may try a class you don’t expect and discover a passion. Maybe linguistics or math. If this happens either you regretfully neglect it or change majors. Either way it puts you behind. You are not well rounded. In fact you are specialized. If you discover the afternoon lectures, maybe the Physics colloquium, you have less spare time.

That’s your first year. Maybe your second as well. If you are not wealthy you are in a race to graduate before you run out of money. Often if your parents are wealthy too. They want to see progress. You become more focused on your major. There is a lot to know in any major and, say, ten courses are not enough to cover many tricks and wonders. The buffet of other interests must be neglected if you wish to graduate in a reasonable time. Pray to god you don’t fall in love. That will really put you behind.

You end up knowing one field a bit and one specialty a bit better. A handful of interests you know well enough not to sound foolish. If you chose wisely you can earn a living. You are a college graduate.  If you chose poorly, you are still a college graduate, but you cannot find a job in your field. You realize that while you are more educated, you are not smarter. Wisdom begins. You begin to appreciate the difference between education and training. Often training is more in demand than education. Nobody cares about philosophy. The cretinous Philistines.

You are proud and happy. Then disaster strikes: ‘Now you are educated tell me about – something.’ You cannot maintain that the subject is unimportant. But you never studied it. So you fake it. Can you pull I something from history? Derive from first principles? Did something get said one of those nights when everyone was sitting around talking? I remember Dad asking. ‘How big are we really in the universe?’ I wanted to cry. He didn’t mean 1.83 meters. He wanted to know some cosmic meaning of which I was ignorant. Which I did not believe existed.

The socially smart thing is to figure out what smart people are supposed to believe this week and parrot it. Atheism, the Gaea Hypothesis, Complexity Theory, whatever. You don’t want to let down important people by saying ‘I have no idea. I didn’t study that.’ You need to appear smart. Reasoning from first principles is dangerous. What if you come to a conclusion that is unfashionable? Nobody was ever ridiculed for saying what the smart set on television said.

And you are trapped. You can’t keep changing your mind without letting on your ignorance. Many people believe what they say. They find cognitive dissonance to be painful. Besides, can you really remember the reasons for all the things you learned? Could you do all those proofs in Calculus again if you tried?

Your income is based on being educated. Don’t undermine that.

It’s probably true.

Winding Down After The Election


You Ask Me, Why, Tho’ Ill at Ease

By Alfred, Lord Tennyson

You ask me, why, tho’ ill at ease,

Within this region I subsist,

Whose spirits falter in the mist,

And languish for the purple seas.

It is the land that freemen till,

That sober-suited Freedom chose,

The land, where girt with friends or foes

A man may speak the thing he will;

A land of settled government,

A land of just and old renown,

Where Freedom slowly broadens down

From precedent to precedent:

Where faction seldom gathers head,

But by degrees to fullness wrought,

The strength of some diffusive thought

Hath time and space to work and spread.

Should banded unions persecute

Opinion, and induce a time

When single thought is civil crime,

And individual freedom mute;

Tho’ Power should make from land to land

The name of Britain trebly great—

Tho’ every channel of the State

Should fill and choke with golden sand—

Yet waft me from the harbour-mouth,

Wild wind! I seek a warmer sky,

And I will see before I die

The palms and temples of the South.

The long combat of political campaign is over. Please, let us build and garden our civilization.


I am reminded I was recently attacked for something much like this. Just before the election a woman with whom I often agree was in despair. She is an immigrant and a proud American chauvinist. ‘America, she said, is the only light of the world, and if it fails, the world will pass into darkness.’

I made the mistake of saying that America is just the most recent institution of an idea that had been around a very long time. It is a better institution than those which came before, but if it fails we can build another. We are not helpless before the tides of time. And worse, to her, we have learned in the past two centuries. We could avoid some mistakes in the constitution were we to start over.

Mistakes! In the Constitution! I am now persona non grata.

It seems that to a chauvinist, the Constitution sprung fully formed from the pen of Madison with the incubation of Adams and Jefferson. The Constitution was most definitely not the product of longstanding historical movements.

Along one line to the past lies Magna Carta. The Great Charter is rather clumsy, but it stated some important principles. That justice not be bought and sold. The English in 1689 had a Bill of Rights. It wasn’t a very good one, but it was a solid foundation on which we built out own. The great mistake of the British was that the constituent parts of their constitution were just simple acts of Parliament and could be easily undone. The British still have their Bill of Rights but it has been so changed and undermined that most British schools don’t bother to teach it.

Madison and the boys certainly learned from Montesquieu. The whole division of powers thing.

And the lady whom I offended certainly remembers Republican Rome. The Republic was strong enough that it took three centuries of emperors to take the freedom of the people. Again, it was not a good system, but is was the foundation on which better was built.

So if the lines referring to Britain offend some – telwiddim. History happened. I put out not my own eyes to placate. I do not deny history to avoid offense.

Fair Society or Free Society


To paraphrase Harlan Ellison:

A young man seeks out the holder of wisdom in his society. He finds the wise man up in a tower overlooking the city.

‘What can you tell me that will make sense of this vale of frustration and fear?’

The old man walks to the window with the young man and they look down on the city of humanity and says,‘There are a lot of stupid bastards out there, my son.’

My friend, Dan, is disturbed about our country. There are many foolish people doing stupid things. But I dither. There are many stupid and evil people doing nasty things, and they should be stopped.

Dan is disturbed by the photographers and bakers who refuse to accept business at gay weddings. He sees ‘white supremacists’ seeking to march in a demonstration against Jews as evil brutes hiding behind the Bill of Rights so they may threaten a small and vulnerable minority which is blameless. Dan is right. We both see a flood of foolish or evil people doing things we view as lamentable, but see no solution.

We all want fairness. We all desire freedom. We cannot have both on this Earth. And as it is 2017, the Millennium didn’t help one whit.

I come down on the side of freedom over fairness. This disturbs me: I hate siding with crude idiots.

I see the difference as a matter of paperwork.

Freedom is simple. One forbids the government from telling people what to do and prays fervently that the masses don’t throw away their freedom and power for opiates and lies. Many will. If the many become most, then we have created hell and do not deserve our freedom. No avenging angel will take our freedom. Nature’s laws will come in the form of chaos, terror, and the Man on a horse making promises, or as the little man with the odd mustache whispering lies about weak scapegoats we must eliminate. Dan fears he can see the beginning of this. I pray he is wrong, but believe that chaos and war are always in sight. The Four Horsemen are only a few bad decisions away at the best of times.

Fairness is complex. One limits the freedom of the stupid and the evil. Nice and elegant theory. Alas, this implies someone to judge. A wise philosopher king can solve all these problems in one stoke at the Gordian Knot. God has never shown himself willing to come down and sit in the Marble City to arrange our lives. [A logical and religious person may be excused for thinking that this reticence on God’s part may suggest that He thinks we ought sort out our own damned affairs.] We will have to make do with some weak, venal, and stupid human. A committee won’t work. It always comes down to one person. Who decides who makes the choices? Plato, Socrates, and that crowd have thought long and hard on this. Aristotle even had a hand at it. How do we avoid our new arbiter becoming Napoleon or Stalin or Commodus? In our case, I fear Egalabalus is about all the class and style we could muster.

Say we have our decider. Say he is not the declassé oaf we deserve. Will our judgment and taste atrophy? Without the struggle will our judgment and character fail to develop? Our posterity may remain spoiled and bewildered children until the fire walk of ongoing history forces them to mature. And say we have our philosopher to hold our hand. Who could stand the job? Freedom is simple but hard. Fair will be subject to whoever handles the paperwork. The hand which does the paperwork rules the world.

I fear that I stand with those open-mouthed proles who want their freedom of conscience to associate with those they will and avoid those they won’t. At the start of our experiment in freedom there was an exchange that is often in my mind. The English Civil War was devolving into a muddy mess. At the Putney debates it was asked –

‘Then for what did we fight?’

‘That one man’s will not be the law!’

In the intervening four hundred years I have not seen a better response. I really want one.