Query of a Seasonal Nature to the Sage and Prophet of the Land of Lakes

O, great and erudite man of popular culture,

He who binds conundrums using an enigma as a rope,

Pray answer my question, which has baffled me, lo, these many years,

‘Who ever thought that a ham was shaped like this?’

hams

Are swine executed on Danish farms using quaint traditional cookie cutters?

Did a smart cookie with a Psychology degree on Madison Avenue ask, ‘Why don’t we do some classical, or Pavlovian, conditioning so that the public conflates a common, but copyright-able, shape with both ham and our product, in spite of there being considerably less ham in our product that gelatin glue?’

Do cans of Spam, air-dropped to poor starving masses, assume this shape upon re-entry?

Did the Industrial Designers who streamlined toasters get their hands on a ham factory, or, shudder, The Pigs Themselves.

[I may entitle a book or a band ‘The Pigs Themselves.’]

Did a can factory in Cleveland have a special on factory irregulars?

O, Great and Esoteric Lileks, Is there an answer?

Yours,

Feral Plum

The great James Lileks is man in Minnesota who Knows Things and can turn a clever phrase as a jewel on a lathe. Also I have voice envy.

http://www.lileks.com/bleats/

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s