One of the funny things about being a man is that you’re only expected to know seven colors. And two of those are black and white. If you use colors such as puce or mauve people question your masculinity. I once had to call the police about a theft. The car was a sort of greyish brown. I knew General Motors’ cars of that color were listed as champagne on the car title. When I told the dispatcher the car was champagne, she cracked up.